What If Your Past Is Holding You Back? Insights from Gloria Vanderhorst
- Khudania Ajay
- Aug 20
- 2 min read
Updated: Nov 4
Understanding the Impact of Our Past
What if the biggest thing holding you back isn’t in your present but in your past? We’ve all heard the advice to "leave the past behind." But let’s be real—the past never really leaves us. It lingers in our choices, our relationships, and even in how we see ourselves. Often, we don’t even realize it.
This powerful insight comes from Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst in her book Read, Reflect, Respond and her engaging conversation on Author’s Voice with KAJ. With over 50 years of experience guiding people through trauma and growth, Gloria explains why real transformation requires us to look at how our early experiences continue to shape our present.
Her message is both a challenge and an invitation. If you’re willing to explore your own history, you can create lasting change—no matter your age or stage in life.
Key Takeaways from the Conversation
Here are some of the most striking moments from the conversation:
The Past Is Never Fully Gone. Gloria reminds us, “Our brains record experiences from the moment we are born.” These experiences often resurface in subtle ways that affect how we connect with others today.
A Journal That Goes Beyond Words. Her book offers 52 essays—one for each week—with a blank facing page for words, drawings, or free expression. This approach unlocks memories stored beyond language.
Unhooking from Old Patterns. By connecting past trauma to present behaviors, people gain the ability to “unhook” and reclaim their authentic selves. It’s like shedding an old skin that no longer serves you.
Change at Any Age. Whether you’re 20 or 70, growth is always possible. As Gloria puts it: “You are always just on the edge of creating something new for yourself.” Isn’t that a comforting thought?
A Vision for the Future. Gloria is also writing a new book on raising boys to embrace their full emotional range. She believes this shift is essential for healthier families and societies.
The Journey of Self-Discovery
This isn’t just about healing from the past. It’s about unlocking your potential for a stronger, freer future. Imagine what could happen if you took the time to reflect on your past. You might discover hidden strengths or insights that propel you forward.
The Role of Reflection
Reflection is a powerful tool. It allows us to pause and examine our thoughts and feelings. When we take the time to reflect, we can identify patterns in our behavior. This awareness is the first step toward change.
Embracing Vulnerability
Vulnerability can be intimidating. But it’s also where true growth happens. By embracing our vulnerabilities, we open ourselves up to deeper connections and understanding. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable; it’s a sign that you’re on the right path.
Building a Support System
As you embark on this journey, consider building a support system. Surround yourself with people who encourage your growth. Whether it’s friends, family, or a community group, having support can make all the difference.
Moving Forward
So, what’s next? If you think your past doesn’t affect your present, you need to watch this. Gloria’s insights could be the spark that helps you finally break free and grow into the life you’ve been waiting for.
👉 Watch the full episode of Author’s Voice with KAJ featuring Gloria Vanderhorst here.
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